Motherload
The Only Constant is Change
Published: 9/23/20
By: Sheila Aven
The last couple of weeks have been somewhat challenging. School started a few weeks ago, and while I usually welcome back the structure that school brings for our kids, this year is very different. It’s been a challenge to balance working (even if it’s only three days a week) and keeping up with my two son’s school work and schedules, and trying to manage our home. They are in 10th grade and 7th grade and alternating one week in school and one week remote. I got to thinking about how school starting back had me stressed out. Then I thought back how summer wasn’t that relaxed either. I thought back even further to how last year’s end hit us all like a hurricane with everything going remote and it being my daughter’s senior year. What a whirlwind!
Looking back, I realized just how consistent change is. I, being a parent, am looking through the lens of a mom. I started thinking about the different phases of parenthood and how just when you think you got it figured out — something changes. Your baby’s schedule changes, or that one technique doesn’t work anymore. Your toddler wants to be treated like a big kid now cause they’re not a baby anymore. Then school starts. In elementary, you’re still able to help with the homework, and your kids think you’re so smart! The “big” problems are still relatively simple enough to solve in a conversation or two and a hug.
But give it some time, and things start to get a little more complicated. The homework becomes way out of your league! The challenge now is to keep them motivated in the school subject they don’t like or don’t care about but have to graduate. This is uncharted territory. You try the light approach; you try laying down the law, you try consequences, you try just letting them fail and learn from it (even though that nearly kills you inside!). Since each child is different, what worked with one child is not guaranteed to work with the other. The job is to get to know and learn who your kids are. It is the toughest, most challenging, and one of the most important jobs you could have. The one constant in that role is that it is ever-changing. It is forever pushing you to learn …change ….grow ….relax ….put your foot down ….laugh ….cry ….and figure out how to roll with it.
With all these thoughts swirling around in my head, I realized how this not only translates to parenting but life in general. We are always learning and changing and growing, and you know what? I’m okay with that, or I’m trying to be. Relationships and responsibilities are always evolving. There are things that I would never have discovered either about myself or others and skills that I never would have learned if I wasn’t open to change. We are continually working around here to figure out the best process to save time, energy, and resources. We are open to the possibility of trying something and sometimes learn it doesn’t work. Life is the same.
Did I shed some tears over the weekend and feel like a complete failure over my son getting behind on his school work? You bet I did!
Did my husband just start a new job that is an answer to prayers but also a new schedule to throw into the mix? Yes, thank you, God!
Did I just get set back an hour or more as I sat down to type this tonight because my daughter walked in with a couple friends and I was able to have an great conversation with them about some real life situations they’re dealing with. Yep, but absolutely worth it! (Who needs sleep, right?)
It’s tough navigating this role of motherhood and raising these little humans who will one day be adults out in the real world.
It’s tough navigating life’s changes.
It’s tough navigating this ever-changing world we live in.
But even though all the ups and downs, success and frustrations, sweat and tears, laughter and craziness – it’s worth it!
I’m working to find the silver lining and roll with it! I encourage you to do the same.
I’m still searching for the right book to guide me through mothering teenage boys. If you’ve found it, please help a mother out!
In the meantime, here is a glimpse into my thought process….
Context
Thoughts
– Do dads struggle with balancing parenting and guilt the same as moms do?
– How are you at “rolling with it”? Whether it’s parenting, relationships, work, or life.
– Do you welcome failures as a chance to grow or try to avoid them at all costs?
